The Rut


It's a beautiful morning in Austin, Texas. Last night I had a nasty fight with some food poisoning I picked up somewhere in West Texas, but this morning I feel pretty okay, which comparatively is pretty awesome. 

Anyway, I knew I wanted to sit down and type out some words this morning but I wasn't quite sure what they'd be about until last night. One of my favorite writers & general human beings, Hannah Brencher, tweeted about what she should write about in her super top secret (not so secret) Monday morning email. Before I could even figure out what I was doing I had sent a tweet to her asking about creative ruts. I don't think I knew how fully I was in one until I was asking for help to an almost stranger on the internet. 

This morning at 3:59AM I received some wisdom from HB on the matter.

CREATIVE RUTS:
They happen. There’s a thing in the universe called resistance-- it would like to come up against you and keep you from reaching that full potential. Sit down and face the rut. Look at the mud. Survey it from different angles and bring people in to the problem.

So I did. All morning. All morning I've been looking at it. Wondering where the resistance is coming from, wondering why, wondering what I'm going to do about it. 

And now here I am. This is as far as I've gotten. I'm stuck. I've been stuck for a while. I've tried a couple of things that didn't work. I've tried a couple of things that did. And from here I have a short list of things that might work.

  • Work on a project that you know you'll love.
  • Talk to some creative women about their ruts & how they conquered them.
  • Take Hank to the park for an hour a day and just think about nothing. 
  • Work harder.
  • Streamline. 
  • Make lists of beautiful and good things.

As much as it seems like I don't have a plan (I really don't if I'm being honest) I feel like putting these words on a screen & pressing post is a thing that will help me climb out of the cave.

I feel like admitting the rut is there is a good thing. It's easy to look consistently creatively inspired with Instagram and the internet. Everything looks beautiful framed correctly & with a filter that makes the colors pop (even my disgusting dirty vans at the dog park this morning).

Life is like that. Some things are good, and then you realize that you're going through the motions and you're not feeling it. I know my anxiety is part of the problem. One of the gorgeous magazines I have the pleasure of shooting for challenges it's readers to 'live fully alive' and that's more than just a hashtag. It's a gorgeous thought process- to be fully present, fully feeling, fully into what you're doing. Though I am inspired, and have very recently been inspired, I still feel the rut. 

I mean I just got back from gorgeous West Texas for goodness sakes. And don't get me wrong -- I am very inspired. I'm inspired by my girlfriends that went with me. I'm inspired by the landscape. The trip was incredibly uplifting and beautiful and I feel lucky as can be to have been invited on it. It was a dream.

But now that it's over. Now I'm back in Austin. Among my messy house (I'm working on it) and with my food poisoning and the rut is here in full force. It's sitting on my couch and staring at me and daring me to chase it out of my home.

How do you get creatively inspired? I'm on the verge of rearranging our entire house and I need to know if that makes you think I'm a crazy person or not.